Impossibilities

Let’s say you have a large, square-ish knit item, like the front of a sweater. Let’s say that it is 86 stitches across. Let’s also say that this sweater is supposed to be a hoodie. (Noting that a prime component of a hoodie, besides the hood, is a pocket on the front.) Now, if the pattern instructs you to knit the entire bottom portion, and then go back and pick up 60 stitches in order to start your pocket, you would assume this is possible, correct?

You would be wrong.

Because I am here to tell you that it is almost impossible to pick up 60 stitches in a straight line when a) the bottom is performing the stockinette curl and b) the top is slightly puckered from a stitch holder.

IM-freaking-POSSIBLE.

Having spent many, many, MANY hours this weekend trying this maneuver, I am here to tell you that you should skip the picking up stitches nonsense and merely knit the pocket separately and attach it later.

Because the picking up stitches in a straight line? It will drive you mad!